I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
