So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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