Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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