it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
