you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
