i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
