She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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