i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
