Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's shark week go big or go home
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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