you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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