I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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