Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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