She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
