:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
