i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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