put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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