Don't you send me to vm
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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