just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize