I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
