i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
