i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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