STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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