North Korea, Best Korea!
My hand turned me down
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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