A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize