She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
