We're facebook friends in real life
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
