The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
