Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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