Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
