Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
