Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
