I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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