Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
