Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
