I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
