you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
