And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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