Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
