If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
