even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
