State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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