May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
