I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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