If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She made me pour olive oil on her.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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