i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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