Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
