please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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