you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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