Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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