Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
