you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
