I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
