If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
