Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
