get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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