butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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