why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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